The Law of Attraction

Warning!!!!  

Please don't read this post while you're eating....(I'm just saying)  So anyways...nature called and I had to answer.  By day I'm a mild mannered (yeah right) tile contractor.  I've been in this business for around twenty three or twenty four years, and I've used the 'facilities' on a number of occasions.  But never has it been like this.  

It was around 1 p.m. and my lunch was trying to makes it's presence felt.  Lunch has a way of making it's point regardless of what you might think about it.  My stomach was making every kind of sound imaginable.  For a minute I thought I was in Jurassic Park.  I fought the good fight...and lost...I had to go.  

So...off I went to the dreaded 'Port-O-Let'.  I try to never use them, but what I want rarely seems to matter during times like these.  The dinosaur sounds my belly was making literally 'moved' me to handle my biz.  So I lift up the lid and 'Thank God' it looks like the 'John' had just been cleaned, and I'd be the first to soil it.  (If you have to do soiling...it's always best if you're the first one in.)  

So I'm sitting there, with my t-shirt over my mouth and nose (I don't know if it helps, but it makes me feel better).  For whatever reason I think to myself, 'In all the years I've been a contractor using 'Port-O-Lets' I've never been splashed.  Two seconds later the first bomb drops and...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I got splashed.  DAMN!!!

My first thought was 'Am I sure I was the first one in?'  Was the splash a pure splash?  Or, was I sharing unimaginable waste with the carpenters, siding guys, plumber, AND electrician?  Oh my God...what does that deep blue water do to innocent buttocks?  I'm soooo afraid.

So kids...The moral of the story is this...remember that the 'Law of Attraction" is powerful and non-discriminatory.  Never think about splashing of any kind when you're sitting on a Port-O-Let.

Stay Dry and Fly High!

KLH